My Friend Was A Culture War Casualty

So Sorry to Have Been Right

Back in April, I wrote a newsletter about denominations doubling down on their opposition to LGBTQ+ affirmation. It seemed like an overreach based on demonstrating control over individuals and institutions. I titled the piece “Revanchist Denominations”, arguing that they were aggressively working to reclaim ground that was contested in the culture wars.

Three denominations had recently taken such steps. I was particularly intersted in moves by the Church of the Nazarene, my pre-UMC denomination. As I wrote in that piece:

Last month, the Church of the Nazarene — my former home — joined the club. The Board of General Superintendents (six individuals selected by the denomination at their quadrennial general assembly) made an announcement that the section of the Manual (book of discipline) called the “Covenant of Christian Character” and “Covenant of Christian Conduct” were now elevated to the same position as church doctrine.

This was a bold move, especially as such weighty matters are usually addressed via resolution at the quadrennial general assembly where they are debated, amended, and either adopted or tabled. Here’s more from my April post:

There were likely several reasons why this occurred when it did. First, one of the Nazarene institutions made news when a dean was fired in light of an affirming stance taken by an adjunct. Several Nazarene pastors have been removed from their churches and stripped of their credentials for taking affirming stances. And this week, a new book of essays titled Why the Church of the Nazarene Should Be Fully LGBTQ+ Affirming lays out the case on why the denomination should change its stance. I wrote one of the essays for that book.

Unfortunately, I was closer to the mark than I could have possibly imagined. My friend of four decades and my pastor for four years in San Diego (we arrived there the same month) had written one of the essays in the book.

My friend Dee Kelley preaching his last sermon at San Diego First Church of the Nazarene on November 26th. (Photo courtesy — I took if off Facebook — of Melissa Tucker)

Dee Kelley had been part of Nazarene institutions through most of his career. The grandson of a college president, he had served as campus ministry pastor (when I first met him), dean of students, and chaplain in two universities. In his essay, he wrote the following:

In May of 2019 the Board of General Superintendents approved a new ruling regarding legislation on human sexuality and marriage. The ruling stated that a person with same-sex attraction who feels called into ministry must commit to a life of celibacy. That same document includes the ruling that “Nazarene clergy shall not bless, or perform same-sex marriage ceremonies.” I disagree. (1) A person with same-sex attraction should be allowed to marry. (2) Nazarene clergy should be allowed to perform same-sex marriage ceremonies if they desire to do so. (3) Nazarene clergy should also feel free to bless same-sex ceremonies. (emphasis in original)

Those two words — I disagree — were all denominational leaders needed to go on the attack. Arguing that Dee was no longer in alignment with Nazarene doctrine, they set out to remove his preaching credentials. There was a process of sorts that moved through various review levels. Dee had appealed the ruling which was finally denied Thanksgiving week after leaving him, his family, the church, and his friends in limbo for over half a year.

To be clear, Dee didn’t defy the denominations policy. He argued that it should be open for conversation. Here’s another paragraph from his essay.

One of my primary reasons for writing this brief essay is to encourage further dialogue among the clergy concerning LGBTQIA+ issues; and I’m not referring to select committees or an isolated task force. We need open dialgoue among the rank and file, and we need the dialogue to be encouraged by leadership. I believe that our viewpoints are spread across the spectrum. I fear that we are headed for a crisis confrontation like other denominations before us. Why not have more constructive dialogue now before we get to that point? We have some wonderful facilitators in our ranks who could help us do this well. (emphasis mine)

This is where denominational revanchism takes us. It is not allowed to critique the established position of the denomination without life-altering consequences. Those who don’t toe the line and repeat the official policy are at risk of a similar fate to Dee’s.

As I wrote in my own essay (repeated in the above post), younger clergy are not willing to sit around and wait for the denomination to allow dialogue. They will look for other places to serve (likely in UMC congregations).

I’ve watched Dee Kelley’s talents and graciousness over the past forty years. Even though we haven’t been in contact since 2010 when I left (got fired) from Point Loma, I feel he is a long-term friend who I’ve been blessed to have as part of my life.

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A note about the next chapter of The Fearless Christian University. In this chapter, I want to explore the ways that trustees and administrators need to better understand students as they are, not as the idealized version of them on the admissions brochures. I put out a request for Christian University faculty to ask their students this question: “What do you wish administrators and trustees better understood about you and your personal passions?” Please share with your students or alums and give me some feedback.

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I mentioned two weeks ago that I would be writing a newsletter last Friday because we were traveling to Indiana for the birth of our newest grandchild. We got there Friday afternoon. The original plan was that we’d hang out for the weekend and then when the parents went to the hospital to be induced, we’d stay with the 2 1/2 year old grandson. Things didn’t quite proceed as planned. My son woke me up a little before 1:30 to tell me that labor had started and they were heading to the hospital. The baby was born a couple of hours later — good thing our plane wasn’t delayed! Everyone is doing well and we’re thrilled to have her as a part of the family.